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Therapy Woes

Written by Caspian, 08/15/2023 at 5:32 a.m.

Content Warnings: talk of shitty therapists and the healthcare system in America

It's been a hot minute since we've been on our account! Life got in the way; trying to finish school as best we can. Thanks for checking us out, by the by!

But onto the main topic of this blog: we're probably going to have to find a new therapist soon, as much as that sucks. She's experiencing symptoms of long Covid, our sessions feel stagnant, and she mentions she's probably going to quit doing therapy in the next few years.

So, as someone with DID, I figured I'd go ahead and show y'all what a nightmare it is to try and find another therapist for our issues.

Our hunt begins on Psychology Today (which is a great resource for finding therapists in your area, if you weren't aware). I pick out which insurance we use and that we'd need someone who's practice is trauma-focused. This is crucial, as this allows us to find therapists who have some knowledge or expertise of dissociative disorders under their belt. Once we have those two filters applied, the search begins!

"You can't just go with the first person you see?"

Not really, for multiple reasons.

Since we live in the bible belt (and majority of our alters don't subscribe to religion), I need to find someone who isn't faith-focused. Most are fine with LGBTQ+ people, so that's not a massive issue. The real issue is finding that DID expertise in our neck of the woods. We also don't feel too comfortable talking to cisgender men, so if that was the only option available we'd have to seriously consider it.

"Why don't you just find someone who doesn't have the DID expertise?"

Singlets are... complex creatures. I kid, but it's easier to explain why I forgot nearly a decade of my life to someone who already knows about the disorder than have to explain what it is. That, and I know there's already a good chance they see it as an actual disorder. Some therapists (such as my first) see it as a "manipulation tool" (he actually said this to me!) or just flat out don't think it exists. Us with DID either have to go a couple sessions with someone before finding out they don't see it as an actual disorder, or we can take a shot with Sue Ellen and her sand tray therapy.

Seriously, what is it with all these women therapists and the sand tray therapy? Is there something about sand that I don't know about?

Since writing this, I emailed a couple therapists about their experience with dissociative disorders just to see if we're on the right track. If not, we can always try again. I'll also text my therapist in a few hours to see if she's still wanting to meet up today, or if she has other plans.

In the meantime, stay safe and drink water. It's brutual out here.

- Caspian