First, let me state that you are safe. You aren't crazy, delusional, insane; any other word that you can think of. You may be in the denial stage, trying to say that your system doesn't exist, or that you can't possibly be an alter. Accepting that this is your reality can be very tough and challenging, and I won't force you to accept that just this second. If you need to, you can always come back to this at a later point in time.
I applaud you for taking your first steps into discovering that you are part of a system! This can be very mentally draining and difficult, but you'll learn more about yourself and the system as you progress. One thing I will implore you not to do: please do NOT go digging for trauma. I know it may be tempting to see if you have any "evidence" of the cause for this, but it'll only hurt yourselves in the long run.
Just exist. Take time to learn more about yourself and any other alters that you have contact with. Don't force your alters to talk if they don't want to (or even if they aren't able to, in some cases). Here are some things you can try in order to communicate with the other alters:
- Journaling - Have a diary that all members of the system are allowed to write in. You can check this periodically to see if anyone else has written in the journal. You may also want to use this to place pictures and whatever else you think ties into the possibility that you are a system.
- Meditation - Getting into a meditative state may allow you to have direct contact with alters that are in close proximity. Please note that this may not work for everyone, though, and that this can take practice.
- Sticky Notes - Similar to journaling; the concept behind this is that you leave sticky notes around your house so that if an alter fronts, they can see these and are reminded to do certain things (such as journal, take medications, attend a doctor's appointment, etc). If you have a smart device such as a Google Home or Amazon Alexa, you can set up verbal reminders to do these tasks at specific times of day.
- Speaking Aloud - When in doubt, simply speaking as if you were thinking out loud can assist in communicating with alters. Your thoughts won't carry on full conversations, nor have a full identity of its own. Take note of how the thoughts inside of your head respond to you, and if it is safe for you to do so, you can speak aloud to them. If it is not, there are always more options available to you!
- Simply Plural - Simply Plural is an app made by systems, for systems. It allows users to track who is fronting, communicate between alters via message app style, and leave notes for one another. It is available on the Google Play Store as well as the App Store.
- Discord - You can set up a private discord server with just your account in order to message between alters or make notes for each other. This is a discreet option, and makes it look like you're just messaging someone when you're in public. You can even add the Pluralkit bot if you'd like added distinction between messages and alter profiles within discord.
You should also try and document as much as you can about the other alters, triggers that you/others potentially have, and whatever else you can find at the given moment. Be patient as you get this information; sometimes alters won't want to present themselves right away, and that's okay. I wouldn't worry about labels or alter roles at this time; that information will come to you with time.
Therapy is a very helpful tool for some people (though therapy doesn't work for everyone). I would reccomend that you visit a trauma-informed therapist as they typically have more information on PTSD and dissociative disorders than a typical therapist would. As a starting point, you can visit Psychology Today to search for therapists in your area. It even includes filters for what type of insurance they accept and types of therapy offered.
Please note: If you and a therapist aren't clicking, disagree on moral or humanitarian values, or especially if your therapist does not respect you or other clients, you have every right to leave and find a different therapist. We, personally, have been through three different therapists before finding one that works for us. If you fear that others would consider this "doctor shopping" - their opinions don't matter. What matters is your well-being and finding a therapist that works for you.